


Our Secret

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Malice Mizer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:02:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: He wasn't gay, they shouldn't have done what they had done, he didn't even want to talk about it. But they had to, they couldn't ignore what had happened. Perhaps it wasn't so bad, if they kept it secret, if nobody else had to know.





	Our Secret

            Like a teenager trying to escape trouble, Kami had been avoiding Gackt for days. It wasn't the smart thing to do, and it wasn't making him worry less. Yet he couldn't face his friend. Not after what they had done that one night in the hotel. It had been after a gig, alcohol and emotion running strong. But that was no excuse.

            “We need to talk,” Gackt declared. He'd finally caught Kami alone. It was clear he knew Kami had been avoiding him, but he didn't say anything on the matter. Clearly he understood. “Though neither of us really want to.”

            “Can't we just pretend it never happened?” Kami begged. Did they really need to talk about it? Wasn't burying your head in the sand just as good?

            “I don't know. Can you?” Gackt asked. “If you can, then walk out the door. It'll be the answer I need.”

            “You know I can't stop thinking about it.” Kami complained a minute later, as he still sat on the sofa. “I keep wondering 'What if I am?' but earlier, when I threw my drumsticks into the crowd, there was a girl with this low-cut top. I could see right down it. I still like women. I don't think I'm gay at all.”

            “Try performing a whole concert with her right there!” Gackt complained. “That was one seriously dangerous outfit!”

            “I feel like a pervert. I don't even think she was eighteen.” Kami confessed.

            “Me either. They'll be arresting us both soon.” Gackt joked, his smile failing to meet his eyes. “But back to us...”

            “I enjoyed it,” Kami confessed. “But I'm not gay. So, I'm confused.”

            “I've been with a man before. But not like that,” Gackt explained. “Can I ask nobody hears about this? I have a reputation.”

            “So do I. Nobody hears about this from either of us.” Kami confirmed.

            “So, is this a one time thing or a repeated drunken event. Or even sober?” Gackt asked. “To be blunt; That was amazing and you're welcome to do it all again whenever you want. As long as I'm single.”

            “Really?” Kami asked. “You have no regrets?”

            “I'm embarrassed you saw me so vulnerable and yet, it's you.” Gackt replied with a shrug.

            “I want to do it again,” Kami confessed, talking to his shoes now. “But I'm scared of what that might mean. About me, about us. How it will affect everyone we know”

            “Well, Yu~ki says I act like a girl, Közi calls me a diva and Mana knows I make a hotter woman than he ever could,” Gackt replied. “Perhaps you've mistaken me for a woman too?”

            “You're too flat chested for me,” Kami joked. “I suppose it's just a fluke. Can you be straight and still have sex with a man?”

            “Sure. Just don't label it,” Gackt encouraged. “I have an idea.”

            “You do?” Kami asked, he didn't like the look in Gackt's eyes as he approached. It should have been a warning to what he had planned. Suddenly they were kissing and his fears vanished in a wave of lust.

            “So, you enjoy kissing me sober?” Gackt teased. He already knew the answer.

            “It wasn't a one time thing.” Kami decided. He was playing with fire, but he always had enjoyed watching things burn.

            “I didn't want it to be.” Gackt confessed, finally taking a seat next to Kami and kissing him again. Sweet tender kisses that grew in passion, whenever one pulled back the other started the kissing right up again. Neither man leading or following. Just like how it had started last time.

            Then Kami's fingers wrapped around the bulge at his crotch and they were right back where they had started. Gazing at each other with fear, excitement and love in their eyes. Because they did love each other, they just weren't sure what kind of love it was. Not then and not now.

            “I never mentioned how jealous I was that you had so much down here.” Kami complained as he began to stroke Gackt through the leather of the trousers he was wearing. It was just like Gackt to be wearing leather trousers with a band t-shirt and call it 'casual'. He must be feeling uncomfortable already, his size making the trousers tight, even before Kami had begun to make him aroused. He was known for his kindness though, he wasn't going to let Gackt suffer and so he freed Gackt's length. Continuing to stroke it, he let Gackt undress him, not feeling at all modest under the lust filled gaze. They'd both seen each other naked so many times it would be weird to feel shy. Though surely he should? Now he knew that Gackt saw his body as something sexual?

            “You're really OK with this?” Kami worried, as he watched Gackt strip away his own clothes. Romance seemed to be lost to them, perhaps because neither man was sure if there was a place for it. This had been a sexual thing before and they were both struggling to understand that. Far too early to add other elements to their relationship.

            “It felt so good.” Gackt replied, turning his back on Kami as he knelt on the sofa, resting his chest on the back.

            “Well if you say so,” Kami replied doubtfully. He didn't really understand what pleasure Gackt had gotten from this, but the vocalist seemed keen for more.

            “There's lube in my coat pocket.” Gackt advised, so he'd come prepared? Shaking his head Kami found the lube and a box of condoms and prepared his length. He didn't waste time preparing Gackt, they hadn't done that the first time and it had all worked out just fine.

            As he slid his length in, Gackt gasped. His fingers tightening on the back of the sofa. Perhaps the alcohol had been helping him relax last time, or numbed the pain. Either way Kami froze until Gackt pushed his ass backwards. Demanding more. Slowly, so careful not to hurt the vocalist, he slid his length inside moaning as the tight muscles engulfed him. This felt so right, no wonder he had craved it for days.

            Shutting his eyes, Gackt gripped onto the sofa and let out a moan of his own. This felt so good that he couldn't even feel humiliated by it. He loved the feeling of being filled, loved the way his body sent shivers of pleasure every time Kami shifted behind him, even slightly. He'd be humiliated beyond words if anyone found out. He was a strong, sadistic, controlling man. No one would ever believe he could be dominated, especially not by a gentle man like Kami. But perhaps it was because Kami was gentle that he was willing to be weak around him? Or perhaps it was just that Kami wouldn't laugh.

            “Take me harder. Make me your bitch.” Gackt begged, his encouragement getting the required response from the drummer. He could hardly stand how hard Kami was going, the sofa actually threatening to tip over on some of the harder thrusts. Kami hadn't been gentle with him that night either. If he remembered Kami had actually been angry at him for the kiss that had ignited them both. He wasn't angry today though, but he was determined to repeat everything.

            Screaming Kami's name, as the drummer pulled on his hair, Gackt thrust his hips backwards, desperate for everything Kami had to give. It hurt, but he enjoyed the pain. He was a slut, a hole for Kami's pleasure. That was what he wanted from this, as humiliating as it might be to admit.

            “Insult me.” Gackt got out between moans. He was blushing now, embarrassed but knowing what he wanted. What he needed.,

            “Take it you slut,” Kami snapped. The harsh words coming surprisingly easy to the normally gentle man. “You deserve this, thinking filthy thoughts about that poor innocent girl!”  
            “I'm sorry.” Gackt gasped, his length throbbing with need, but if he let go of the sofa he would lose his balance and destroy this pleasure. No matter how temporary, he couldn't have that. Instead he found himself humping the sofa, rubbing his length against it as Kami mocked him for it.

            “Take it, you're nothing but my whore.” Kami snarled, his anger exciting Gackt. It was a passion he hadn't expected from the drummer, not before that night anyway. Now he had seen it, it was all he could think about.

            Suddenly Kami was coming inside him, his body stilling as he moaned. Grasping his chance Gackt quickly stroked his length, coming before Kami had even finished. Falling to the sofa he shook, like a drug addict coming down from a high.

            Seeing Gackt so weak, Kami realised what an emotional toll this must have for his friend. He'd been this way last time too, and once again Kami found himself holding the vocalist. Stroking his hair, whispering gentle words. This time telling the truth. That he thought Gackt was special, that he loved being with him, that he would always be there to protect him.

            “This is our secret,” Kami whispered as he kissed the top of Gackt's head. “But let's make a pact OK? To be honest with each other and ask what we want. When we're together, something happens and we're not our normal selves. But that's OK. Nobody else knows.”

            “Nobody but you,” Gackt agreed as he pulled himself together. “It hurts so much now, in a good way. Every moment of pain is a reminder of you.”

            “We'll get better at this,” Kami promised. “I'll do some research. On how to do this without anyone getting hurt.”

            “I don't know. I think the pain may be part of it.” Gackt confessed. Changing the subject he added, “I love you Kami, one day I'll be able to tell you in which way.” 


End file.
